Uncivil Disobedience – America, I’m Breaking Up With You


“If a woman tells her story and no one in her government hears her – does her government exist at all? No. Women have no government. We are ungoverned, so we will become ungovernable.” — Glennon Doyle


I always sat with my hands folded. I walked through life with everything folded.  My wounds were hidden, my hopes were secret, and I kept my quills retracted so people might come near. I crossed my ankles and all my t’s.  I glazed any sour with sweet.  I did my very best to look nice and act nice, but it was never, ever nice enough. When they dismissed me, ignored me, touched and violated me, I sorely wished they would stop. They never, ever did. 

I’ve been a good girl in their bad world. But now, that’s all over.  Their laws and rules ebb like the tides. They call women sacred when it’s convenient, but they abuse our bodies when they can.  They don’t hear our voices, and when they can they don’t listen. They don’t value who we are; they refuse to respect who we’ve become.  Some brag about assaulting us, while others enthusiastically support them. Their “We, the People” is bullshit. They never have, and they still do not, include women, include me. You’ve turned your back on me, and I’m turning my back on you. You can’t break up with me America because I’m breaking up with you first.

I won’t stand and put my hand on my heart.  

I won’t cross at the crosswalk, I’ll cross where I like.

I won’t “Keep Out”.

I won’t care what the sign says. I’ll trespass.

I won’t “stay back”.  I won’t wait until my name is called.

I won’t tolerate your lies.

I won’t stand patiently in line. And I won’t sit down.

I won’t move over. I won’t lower my voice.

No, I won’t “act lady-like”. This is how ladies act.

No more sheepish “Excuse me’s” — from now on it’s “Out of my way.”

I’ll cut you off when you mansplain. I’ll ridicule your stupid ideas.

I won’t exercise my right to keep silent. I will raise my voice. A lot.

I won’t say I’m sorry. I won’t BE sorry.

Get used to my “resting bitch face”. This IS my face.

And no, I won’t smile.

Until you govern of me and by me and for me, I’ll decide what rules to follow. I’ll choose what laws to obey. I will not back down, I will not give up. You’ve abdicated your moral responsibility and any semblance of an espousal of truth, justice and merit. You’ve abandoned me time and time again, and we’re done.

When you’re ready to include women’s stories, women’s lives and women’s say in what you do, let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be over here with my sisters, relentlessly and unabashedly tearing this shit up. Finally.



Dixie Laite - Dame Town Writer

Author: Dixie Laite

I'm Dixie Laite -- a writer, speaker, and branding consultant in New York City. For over 40 years I've been a bullshit-slaying, classic movies-obsessing, animal-loving dame. For over 40 years I have been working on figuring out how to be a woman. Some of it I nailed, a lot of it I'm still trying to get a handle on. Let's figure this shit out together!

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  • Hi Dixie,

    Found your site by accident & am appreciating your comments. My (“our world)” is sliding off a hill as we sit here fat, dumb & happy saying “we” (the proverbial) need to do something about this! Parents don’t act like parents any more—what (?) do they teach their children (other than “go sit in front of the TV or you game)? How does this get changed? It appears maybe way too much dissent is being taught in college. How do you change that?

    Websites like FB just egg the negativity on—-they will promote any drivel that increases negativism & turmoil—better for their ratings. All these comments about how bad the gov’t is getting—I keep asking HOW—please someone tell me how—we change it. If it requires new laws to be passed, how’s that gonna work? Look who would originate them. If the laws promote something contrary to the interest of “those in charge” (who are in charge only of their agenda & don’t seem to give a hoot about the results of their motives) — then they are going to refuse to pass those laws. Where do we start? Waayyy too many younger people don’t seem the comprehend the “comprehensive agenda” (??) of the term “WE THE PEOPLE”.
    Your description of “the guy at the top” right now carries tremendous validity. I keep hearing about all the good stuff he’s done but getting no answers when I ask “OK—what HAS he done?” Maybe the more valid question would be “What has he done & how did he accompolish it?” He is worse than a loose canon—the absoltute king of strutting & not caring about the world in general. “Does not play well with others” is an appropriate rating. But how to change things?

    As far as the issue of women—it, like other issues, is so multi-sided. The way men treat women is not a new issue. For thousands of years many men have considered/treated women to be totally beneath them. How did that come about? My frequent question has been, “Who (which parent—-if there are any) usually has the most hands on time in raising male children?” The answer is “women”. Hmmm. Figure that one out.

    Going back to the media—guess they are like any other layer of the public. There are reporters/news agencies who are just like everyone else—the ones who are totally into yellow journalism & those who are trying to provide honest reports. Many miss the mark simply because of time restraints (ie, the networks allow more on-air time for ridiculous ads than they do for news!).

    I, as a woman, am obviously against rape physical mistreatment (of either male or female), etc. Why isn’t the media asking some of these women—who accused men of rape 40 years ago—what they were doing at the age of 14, 15, 16, etc, at the wild drinking parties they just felt they HAD to attend. What are they doing taking unknown pills handed to them by any joe blow? Yeah—the questions could go on & on. Some women were raped because of their own decisions. Rape is wrong regardless of when or where. Some people are taught to be human beings & some are not. I’m sorry these women got raped—-they were where they were because of their own choices (& probably at least 90% of them knew they shouldn’t be there). That still does not excuse rape. There are people who are raised by the best, most conscientious parents in the world who try to give their children everything they need to do to be successful in their lives. And sometimes it still doesn’t work. So what is the answer?

    What is the answer to fixing the whole big mess? I am the type person who (truly) believes my vote will NOT make a difference (because of many issues one of which is what I feel is the use of the electoral college). If I really understood it, maybe I wouldn’t think that way.

    What person in their right mind, who is a decent, smart, caring person & loves their country (& the world) would really want to enter the world of politics? So what does that say for the American public having a chance to elect a leader who really cares for his country (over his own agenda) & can be relied upon?

    If I acted on my job (which, by the way, was Federal) the way too many of our “incumbents” act now, I would have been fired long ago! Why can’t we get rid of them when they don’t do their jobs?

    So where do we go from here?

    Again thank you for your valid observations.

  • Well written Dixie. But don’t break up w America, Work it out! Woman can get up and pick up the pieces of shattered femininity thru out America. Woman all over who tip toe as if on broken glass. I hear you roar Dixie. Feminism doesn’t have to be masculine to be heard. But sometimes we can’t even scream loud enuff to be heard. Because no one is listening. United together is a reconning! I can still be pretty with out smiling as I slap the shit out of a stupid insensitive man.

    I love the “f-u” bracelet Dixie. I love it even more that it came from a chic! Cause Girls Rule!!! I wear it proudly.