“If a woman tells her story and no one in her government hears her – does her government exist at all? No. Women have no government. We are ungoverned, so we will become ungovernable.” — Glennon Doyle
I always sat with my hands folded. I walked through life with everything folded. My wounds were hidden, my hopes were secret, and I kept my quills retracted so people might come near. I crossed my ankles and all my t’s. I glazed any sour with sweet. I did my very best to look nice and act nice, but it was never, ever nice enough. When they dismissed me, ignored me, touched and violated me, I sorely wished they would stop. They never, ever did.
I’ve been a good girl in their bad world. But now, that’s all over. Their laws and rules ebb like the tides. They call women sacred when it’s convenient, but they abuse our bodies when they can. They don’t hear our voices, and when they can they don’t listen. They don’t value who we are; they refuse to respect who we’ve become. Some brag about assaulting us, while others enthusiastically support them. Their “We, the People” is bullshit. They never have, and they still do not, include women, include me. You’ve turned your back on me, and I’m turning my back on you. You can’t break up with me America because I’m breaking up with you first.
I won’t stand and put my hand on my heart.
I won’t cross at the crosswalk, I’ll cross where I like.
I won’t “Keep Out”.
I won’t care what the sign says. I’ll trespass.
I won’t “stay back”. I won’t wait until my name is called.
I won’t tolerate your lies.
I won’t stand patiently in line. And I won’t sit down.
I won’t move over. I won’t lower my voice.
No, I won’t “act lady-like”. This is how ladies act.
No more sheepish “Excuse me’s” — from now on it’s “Out of my way.”
I’ll cut you off when you mansplain. I’ll ridicule your stupid ideas.
I won’t exercise my right to keep silent. I will raise my voice. A lot.
I won’t say I’m sorry. I won’t BE sorry.
Get used to my “resting bitch face”. This IS my face.
And no, I won’t smile.
Until you govern of me and by me and for me, I’ll decide what rules to follow. I’ll choose what laws to obey. I will not back down, I will not give up. You’ve abdicated your moral responsibility and any semblance of an espousal of truth, justice and merit. You’ve abandoned me time and time again, and we’re done.
When you’re ready to include women’s stories, women’s lives and women’s say in what you do, let me know. In the meantime, I’ll be over here with my sisters, relentlessly and unabashedly tearing this shit up. Finally.