First, I hate the word “hot”. I never use it in real life unless I’m satirizing something. I hate referring to people and their sexual appeal under some supposedly universal banner shoved in our faces in magazines, social media and the Internet.  Not only do and should we have different perspectives and taste for what we find attractive, but making sexiness conform to certain physical attributes isn’t healthy. It’s also not true, unless you’re moronic enough to let some pumped up (lips, boobs, biceps) stereotype be your compass.

So why am I writing this? Look, as you may know from other posts, I’m not religious and by some Jews’ fundamentalist standards I’m not even Jewish. My biological mother wasn’t Jewish and I grew up in an extremely secular household where we had Christmas trees and celebrated no Jewish holidays. From an early age I knew some Yiddish and all about the Holocaust. But all my life I’ve heard gentiles (non-Jews) act incredulous when they heard that someone good-looking or athletic was Jewish. When James Caan died my mother-in-law was surprised he was a Jew because she, like a lot of people,  have a very narrow idea of who Jews are and what they look like.

I can include myself in this because when I was younger I’d say “I’m really not attracted to Jewish guys.” Maybe that’s because growing up in a Jewish family gave Irish-Catholic and pale mesomorphs held an certain exotic lure. My idea of an ideal husband was someone who could intimidate repairmen and kill cockroaches for me. Now I excel at intimidating repairmen, and have a wider, more diverse idea of masculine appeal. But in my teenage fantasies, few Chosen People were chosen.  Back then, I could only think of a handful of hot Jewish guys, like John Garfield, Jeff Chandler, and Joe, Rhoda’s husband (see below).

Turns out there were/are lots of conventionally “hot” Jewish guys, they just don’t go around advertising it–not good for your career. Now, you may balk at this list so let explain something about Judaism. 1) If your mother was Jewish then you are considered Jewish. It’s not patrilineal because Cossacks and well, everyone, were always going around raping Jewish women so you could never be sure who the father was. 2) If you convert to Judaism you are considered a Jew. There is supposed to be no distinction made between converts and anyone who grew up or is “biologically” Jewish. In fact, converts are often the most zealous and the lest secular Jews. For example, Israel has the Birthright thing where Jews can come immigrate there. So Elizabeth Taylor and Marilyn Monroe, two converts, could live there, no problem. But me, maybe not. My adoptive parents were extremely secular and my biological mother was definitely not Jewish. Anyway, here’s a list of “hot” and hot-ish guys you may not have known were Jewish. (I know my constantly putting the word hot in quotes in annoying. I’m aware.)

Anyway, here’s a list of famous guys you likely didn’t know were Jewish:

Harrison Ford — Mom was Jewish, that’s what counts. He once said he was mostly gentile but he was Jewish when he was acting.

John Garfield — Born Julius Garfinkle, and puh-lenty mesomorph-y. My high big school crush.

Jeff Goldblum — OK, he’s obviously Jewish, but he’s just so…Jeff Goldblum.

Michael Vartan — “The funny thing is I’m actually a Polish Jew who happens to be born in France. ”

Liev Schreiber — Hard to dispute his “hotness”.

Gabriel Macht — Born to Jewish parents of Russian Jewish descent, his father, is an ordained rabbi.

Drake aka Aubrey Graham — Very proud of his Jewish heritage. But I can’t think of Aubrey as hot because I knew him when he was Jimmy on Degrassi when I worked at The-N.  And, by the way, who here can can say they were at a seder with him at my boss’s house?

Joseph Gordon Levitt — He is of “100% Ashkenazi Jewish” descent, from a family that is “not strictly religious”.  (That’s basically all American Jews.) His parents were among the founders of the Progressive Jewish Alliance.

Sir Daniel-Day Lewis — Day-Lewis’s mother was Jewish; her Ashkenazi Jewish ancestors were immigrants to England in the late 19th century, from Latvia and Poland. Day-Lewis’s maternal grandfather, Sir Michael Balcon, became the head of Ealing Studios, helping develop the new British film industry.

David Beckham — His grandfather was an Orthodox Rabbi and he went there Friday nights for Sabbath meal.  Beckham’s maternal grandfather’s maternal grandmother, Elizabeth Lazarus Llewellyn, was Jewish. Beckham has referred to himself as “half Jewish” and wrote in his autobiography “I’ve probably had more contact with Judaism than with any other religion”.

Timothee Chalamet — Sooo not my type. His mother, Nicole Flender, is a third-generation New Yorker of Jewish Russian and Austrian  descent.

Paul Newman — DUH. Paul Newman was Jewish by paternal descent; his father was the son of Hungarian Jewish and Polish Jewish immigrants. Newman grew up without any formal religious upbringing and always described himself as “a Jew” in adulthood. 

Paul Rudd— Duh again. He seems like the ideal guy, the ideal person.

Jon Stewart — Duh to 11. Likely you know he’s Jewish but I just love smart, funny animal lovers so I had to add him.

Matthew Broderick — His mother was Jewish and he considers himself Jewish. No wonder he’s so good at playing those autobiographical Neil Simon guys.

David Baddiel — British and Jewish, extra points for having two ISHES. (Though I admit for me British (Scottish, Irish, Welsh, the whole schmear) is automatically hot to me.)

Jason Isaacs —  Very “hot” and another two ISHES!  His Eastern European great-grandparents were founding members of the Jewish community in Liverpool’s Childwall suburb. He attended a Jewish school and religious classes twice a week. During his teenage years in London, Isaacs experienced antisemitism from the National Front, which he credits as preparation for playing villainous characters. Antisemitism in the UK influenced his parents’ 1988 decision to immigrate to Israel. Isaacs’ mother died there in 2014, and he has a strong, decades-long connection to the country.

Craig David — He’s Jewish through his Jewish mother, who came from a Reform Jewish background. His maternal grandfather was an Orthodox Jew, and his maternal grandmother was a convert to Judaism. Another double ISH!

Jeff Chandler – Very proud of his Jewish heritage and didn’t like having to change his name. His torso and gray hair made him a very “hot” and handsome guy.

Sheldon Leonard – I like that old school, Lower East side gangster type. “Alright you pixies…”

Peter Falk — I’ve ALWAYS had a crush on Peter Falk.

Jack Klugman — I’ve always had a crush on him too. What can I say? He has kind eyes.

Volodymyr Zelenskyy — Humorist, honest and courageous leader, badass and a true life hero.

Brett Goldstein — A little hirsute for me, but he is British and Jewish, the two ISHES!

Runners-up include:

Jesus — OG Jewish hottie. We don’t know what he looked like, but I love his Judaic ideas and rebel spirit and that’s enough for me.

William Shatner – he’s no Patrick Stewart, but we didn’t know from Patrick Stewart in those days, kids.

Leonard Nimoy — His parents were Russian Jewish immigrants, and he grew up in an Orthodox Jewish household in Boston. The Vulcan sign he came up with is actually a Jewish sign (a “shin” in the Jewish alphabet, as in Shalom.) His singing during his bar mitzvah ceremony was so good he was asked to repeat his performance the following week at another synagogue. William Shatner said, “He is still the only man I know whose voice was two bar mitzvahs good!

Lawrence Harvey — Not my type, a little too Hurd Hatfield-y for me. Best known for his role in “The Manchurian Candidate” (and for me, the hard-of-hearing chess master on “Columbo”) Laurence, born Zvi Mosheh Skikne was born to Lithuanian Jewish parents and emigrated to South Africa at an early age, before settling in the United Kingdom after World War II. Side note: Really hard to pick out British actors…Jane Seymour? Felicity Kendall? Peggy elfin Ashcroft?? Wow.

Leslie Howard — Not “hot” from where I’m standing, but he did die fighting Nazism.

Yaphet Koto — Both his parents adopted Judaism, and he was raised with his Jewish identity, which he credited for his success.

James Franco — *You gaze at each other during Shabbat and realize you don’t need electricity as long as you have each other.* Dave Franco too.

Adrien Brody

Chico and Harpo Marx — They have good builds and they’re funny. “Hot” in my book.

Adam Brody — Currently playing a rabbi in Netflix hit, “Nobody Wants This”.

Daniel “Harry Potter” Radcliffe — His mother, Marcia Gresham, was born to a Jewish family in South Africa. Her ancestors were Ashkenazi Jewish immigrants from Eastern Europe, including Lithuania, Poland, and Russia.

Craig David — He’s British AND Jewish. Craig David is Jewish through his Anglo-Jewish mother, who came from a Reform Jewish background. His maternal grandfather was an Orthodox Jew, and his maternal grandmother was a convert to Judaism. 

Andrew Garfield — Not my type, but whatever. He sorta has the two ISHES.

Moshe Dyan – #eyepatch

Lenny Kravitz — I’m including him because he takes his Jewish side seriously.

Josh Charles — “The Good Wife” “hotness”.

Justin Bartha —  More “The Good Wife “hotness”.

Max Greenfield — Teddy bear “hotness”.

Bryan Greenberg

Michael Rapaport — I love his old-style New York outspoken gangsta chutzpah.

Zach Braff — has publicly discussed his Jewish identity and background. For example, a video clip on YouTubeshows him participating in a segment called “The Jew-Off” with Kate Hudson. (Kate is also Jewish because her mom, Goldie Hawn in Jewish.)

Adam Lambert

Stephen Fry — He may not be hot in the traditional sense but he is so damn smart, funny and kind that I adore him.

Jake Gyllenhaal –Not my type but…he’s from Polish Jewish families. Gyllenhaal considers himself Jewish, and his bar mitzvah ceremony gave money to charity, which is a big mitzvah. His parents are very socially conscious, which is very common among Jews because of Judaism’s “deed over creed” focus.

David Groh – He phoned it in as Joe, Rhoda’s husband, but he managed to look pretty manly in his tight polyester Nik-Nik shirts.

Peter Riegert — I’ve had a soft spot for him ever since Crossing Delancey. I think a lot of women do too.

Noah Wylie — Identifies primarily as culturally Jewish, like me.

Ben Foster — Plays a Holocaust survivor in the HBO film called…wait for it…”The Survivor”.

Joaquin Phoenix — He has Jewish heritage through his mother, Arlyn Phoenix, who was born in New York to Jewish parents. His maternal grandparents’ families had emigrated from Russia and Hungary. 

River Phoenix — Joaquin’s brother. Like so many liberal Jews, they went down a hippie, “Jewdisst” path. It’s a shame Judaism is so poorly branded and unknown because it’s a very spiritual, ethics-based, don’t have to believe in God path that would appeal to most secular Jews. (For example, Jews aren’t meant to take the Bible literally (check your Talmud) and know it was written by several people. The Torah stories are more used like, hmmm, Tarot cards.

Josh Bowman — His father is Jewish, and he said in the interview that he “feels Jewish, ish.” Again, the two –ishes make him 100 times hotter.

Benjamin Barnes — Speaking of the two -ishes, Barnes cites his mother’s Jewish South African childhood as part of his formative education.

James Wolk — He is an ethnic Ashkenazi Jew who was raised in a Reform Jewish household.

Logan Lerman

Eric Dane –– Raised in their mother’s Jewish faith, Eric had a bar mitzvah ceremony.

Gene Simmons — The face of KISS (the painted face of KISS) was born Chaim Witz in Haifa, Israel to a Holocaust survivor. He emigrated to the United States when he was eight years old. His grandfather was an Orthodox rabbi and he considers his Jewish heritage is a significant part of his life and legacy.

Neil Diamond — My mom had a big crush on Neil.

Adam Schiff — Trump is always going after him and he doesn’t cave. Same for Jamie Raskin. Chutzpah is hot.

Justin Kirk — His mother was of Russian-Jewish descent.

Adam Levine — The name should be a tip-off but most Americans are idiots.

Steve Lawrence – I was always excited when he showed up on “the Carol Burnett Show”. (So sue me, I was in puberty. Which reminds me, I thought Harvey Korman was kinda hot too.)

Sammy Davis Jr. — Not really my idea of hot, but I really liked that he made the team. He’s also incredibly talented.

For me still today, the “hotness” high point is still anyone with an accent coming from any British isle, and a cute priest (Fleabag 2 made my head explode.) But I’m now aware that many Jewish men can kill bugs, be romantic, and go days without criticizing me. I don’t care if any future partners are Jewish (but if they could be the other ISH you had me at at “al’ight?” or “What’s the craic?”). I don’t give a hang about anyone being so-called “hot.” All I’m looking for is a mensch.

Side note: Uh, ironically, if you want to call me hot, that’s OK.